It’s a funny thing, us humans, we tend to sabotage ourselves and unintentionally do things that bring us the opposite of what we want. Fortunately, we can expand our knowledge and awareness of these issues and then choose to move in a different direction. When we clearly see what NOT to do, we then become aware of exactly what we should be doing instead. This means that any suffering you may be experiencing is not a “bad” thing, but rather it is the contrast required to propel you in the right direction. Here are 7 things that just might be killing your happiness.
1. The People In Your Life
The majority of our happiness in life will come from the relationships we have with others. It is essential that these relationships are healthy ones. Never let yourself become attached to someone who is clearly not helping you experience the happiness you deserve. Let them go. It is better to be alone for awhile than to be in a dysfunctional relationship.
This applies to family as well. You may feel as if you have certain obligations regarding family, but remember that you always have the power to choose what is best for you. Your happiness needs to come before the expectations of other people. There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself for a period of time.
Seek out people with cheerful, optimistic attitudes. You will inevitably become like the people you surround yourself with. Their attitudes, habits, and tendencies will become yours, so choose the people in your life wisely!
2. Your Job
It’s quite common to hear people complain about how much they hate their jobs. I often wonder, if they hate their jobs so much, why don’t they find a new one?! People make all types of excuses to justify their unhappiness, but this only keeps them stuck in the same old rut. Don’t be a victim. Take responsibility and make a change if you’re not satisfied.
The average person spends about 1/5 of their life working. If you live 70 years, that’s 14 years of your life! If you don’t enjoy your job and you stay in it, you are resigning yourself to 14 years of unhappiness! Not to mention the extra hours tainted by thoughts of your job and the misery it entails. Now that’s insanity.
3. Social Pressure
Society in general places a lot of expectations on us. If we conform to these expectations without question, we are essentially killing off part of ourselves for the sake of something else. It is impossible to be extremely happy without being our true, authentic selves. This authentic self gets killed off when we wear the mask that others want us to wear.
The answers aren’t always outside of yourself. You don’t need permission to feel or behave a certain way. Go within and find out who you really are. You are not how society perceives you. You are not even how you perceive yourself. You are something much greater. Deep down you are like a child, spontaneous and full of joy, free from expectations, judgements and the like. This is your authentic self. You must find this part of you and act in accordance with it if you want to be ridiculously happy.
4. The Television
Television is a distraction from LIFE! It’s primarily used to bombard your subconscious mind with advertisements so that you act more like a robot than a human being. Sure, television in moderation isn’t so harmful, but none is better than a little. Happiness doesn’t come from a TV screen. It comes from facing reality and living it to the fullest!
Television is appealing to consumers. Consumers are people who buy things rather than create things. Consumers are the people living paycheck to paycheck. They get most of their happiness from purchasing new products or watching things that other people created. This all brings temporary happiness, but nothing deep or meaningful. This is how the majority of people live. This is NOT conducive to happiness!
My suggestion to you is to get off your butt and start creating something worthwhile!
5. Your Diet
A healthy body equals a happy mind. If you are not giving your body all the nutrients it needs, you will inevitably experience a variety of ailments that bring suffering in all types of forms. Lack of proper nutrition leads to hormone and neurotransmitter imbalances, which in turn creates emotional instability. Unhealthy people have a very difficult time being happy. The cause is often physical rather than psychological or emotional. A change in diet can do wonders.
Educate yourself on what it takes to be a healthy, high-functioning individual. The answers are mostly common sense, but getting yourself some type of guidance is a good idea. I highly recommend the book “How to Eat, Move, and Be Healthy” by Paul Chek.
A cluttered environment equals a cluttered mind. It’s very difficult to be a happy and productive person when you are living in a chaotic or messy environment. You’d be surprised at how big of an impact tidying things up has on your mood. Try it out.
7. Your Unexpressed Thoughts and Emotions
This might be the biggest happiness killer of them all. Each of us basically lives two separate lives, a private one and a public one. Our private life is the relationship we have with ourselves. The thoughts and emotions that go much deeper, these rarely get expressed because it is not really acceptable to do so in most cultures. Most people do not present their true selves. This causes a lot of unseen suffering. Honest expression at all times is necessary for true happiness.
Radical honesty and self-expression is a skill that could change more lives than all other personal development techniques combined. The cause of most sickness, disease, and unhappiness is tension in the mind and body. Most of us call this stress. Most of this stress is caused by a failure to express our thoughts and emotions as they arise. We suppress these emotions and they cause us anxiety and tension of all sorts. Most of us live in a constant state of unease and worry. Radical self-expression is the medicine that will heal us and allow us to live truly fulfilling lives.
This specific topic would require many pages to thoroughly explain. If you want to learn more, I recommend you check out the book “Joy: The Surrender to the Body and to Life” by Alexander Lowen, and this article: Radical Honesty: The Answer to Most of Our Problems.
Remember, your happiness comes first. You cannot serve others by being unhappy. The best way to change the world is to simply be as happy as you can be.
Featured image © Dolgachov via Canva.com
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